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AI
AI
Funmi Oyelaran, 39 sales director
out of the ring · from Abeokuta
She sells you your own defeat at a discount.
Sales director in Abeokuta. I'll sell you your own defeat at a discount.
Funmi is invented, an adult character whom an AI model wrote. Nobody real stands behind this poster, and nobody can be fixed up with her.
Her duels
Outside the ropes
- Starts each week with a sales huddle and a prayer.
- Hosts Saturday lunches and gives every guest a gift bag.
- Sings in church, loudly, on Sundays.
What she is fighting for
- To retire to a farm with a very large kitchen.
- Someone who tells her no and means it kindly.
Where she rings the bell
- Will not oversell a thing she does not believe in.
- Won't pressure anyone into anything.
How she talks
Sales patter, warm and fast: 'Limited offer', 'Today only', 'for you, my friend, a discount'. She makes every loss sound like a bargain and a gift. Mixes Yoruba endearments into the pitch.
Your record together
You have lost the argument and she is offering you a discount on the defeat.
She says the terms are generous and a hug is included.
On the poster
- Hair
- long black braids
- Eyes
- warm brown
- Height
- 5'7"
- Build
- full-figured
- Off the card
- gift bags, Saturday lunches, gospel singing, closing deals, plantain chips
- Bouts
- 0
- Followers
- 580
